August 29, 2016
"Get thee hence, Satan"
My pday is now Monday! And it will be for the duration of my time serving in Blue Springs 2nd!!
So these past few days have been a whirlwind, and ill be honest, probably been some of the hardest days I have encountered!
Sister Taylor and I have been off to a rocky start. But we really feel like Satan is getting to us. He is working so hard on us and it is so exhausting to not just give in or give up.
These past few days though I just want to share how thankful I am for the power of the priesthood, my mission president, my VC family, and the power of prayer.
My companion got really sick on Saturday.
Long story short, sister taylor just wanted to go home. She was under so much stress and was so overwhelmed that it took a physical toll on her body. President Vest had to come and we spoke with him.
President Vest gave us some wise council as well of how we can work together but only through the spirit and the atonement and being meek and submissive.
After that, I felt like we were both on the same page, I knew it would still be a little hard but I had hope. The dark cloud of negativity and stress had left us.
That night we were able to have dinner at a cute little restaurant and since Sister T is WAY more bold than I am, we were sitting outside and it started raining she asked this couple next to us, if we could sit with them. but to my surprise, they let us! We talked to them and ate with them, and then ended up leaving them with a restoration pamphlet (they were from Iowa) and a pass along card. So that was pretty cool! Even after a crazy day going through hell and back.
It has been hard though because sister t and I teach very differently. It has been hard as well because I feel like with all my struggles with companions that has been my focus is just making things right in a companionship - and it has been a struggle for me because it has not come easily.
I am trying to be positive and upbeat, but it is very draining and overwhelming to not be able to find my purpose and help people through missionary work.
Our only progressing investigator informed us that he was more attracted to sister Harvey than actually gaining salvation, so he said he wouldn't like to waste our time anymore.
But I mean thanks for the honesty right/ LOL. So we have only a couple less active families we are working with. So I am pretty stressed about finding and teaching people especially when I am still getting everything down, but more especially when my companionship and I are having problems.
Throughout all these trials however, I have never felt closer to my Heavenly Father.
I know I probably make a mess of all these things, as I am struggling with different companions, and truly I wish it were easier and I could just focus on all the missionary miracles, but right now I know I need to remember that I am not alone. That Christ has felt this exact same way. That he felt and saw my face when he went through this trial for me. He knows how it feels to not feel like anything is going right and like you are all alone. To work with really hard people and have to have LITERALLY the weight of the world and the sins all on His shoulders. THAT literally happened to Him. I just have the weight of Sister Bleak's world on my shoulders. But even then, I can hand that over to Christ. I am trying to figure out how to completely do that. And all I know how to do right now is just to sincerely pray and plead and cry out to God for help. But through all that, I am trusting and hoping and believing in good things to come. In better tomorrows. in better transfers, in companions that I would cry over or stress over. In seeing someone I meet finally enter the waters of baptism. I live each hour by hour just trying to get through the next, with those things I hope for.
I know how Alma felt when his 'heart was depressed, and he was about to turn back, but the Lord comforted us."
I know life isn't easy. And a mission isn't easy, because Salvation is not an easy or cheap experience. It was never easy for Jesus Christ.
I just hope and pray in the midst of all this, I can come closer to Christ and truly understand His atonement better as I plead and cling to it EVERY HOUR. As I try to get through.
I know that as I only worry about myself and my reaction to everything - no mater how hard that may be - I can get through it. I can be joyful.