Oct. 24, 2016 "Just Keep Going)

Oct. 24, 2016 “Just Keep Going”

Hello family! 

Sooooo this week basically slipped away from us! 

Monday we had dinner and a little correlation at bishops which was awesome! Then had a lesson with the Blake family in our ward (lol I know) they have two super cute boys! Then after we went to go have a lesson with The Lowes but they were all asleep so we went home ... haha 

Tuesday we went and just contacted all morning. And literally out of all the investigators and potentials we tried to see, no one was home and if they were home they refused to come to the door .... haha we even like knocked on a lady's house then walked up the street a ways and then were walking back to our car by her house and she was home! Because she was opting the garage door and got in her car and left and totally saw us! But didn't even wave ....  it's okay sister Matagi and I just laughed it off. 

Wednesday we had  district meeting and it was exactly what I needed. I have kind of been feeling at a loss for what to do. We are trying so many different things, but nothing has come from it and it has been a little disheartening when your only investigator is too busy to meet or even return our phone calls. 

Ugh sometimes I just get sad and frustrated because of the fact that people have agency - this is eternal life! This is the kingdom of God!!! - and people just decide they don't need that. ??? The logic there I will never understand. 

But God knew my frustrations because He knew exactly what I needed to hear. In district meeting they talked all about charity. And having love for those we meet and teach. If they feel of our true and sincere love for them, they won't be standoffish they will be more willing, but more importantly they will feel of their Heavenly Fathers love for them and increase in their desire to do what He's asked of them. 

It was all exactly what I needed to hear. When in doubt, turn to Love. 

When you don't know how to help people get involved in missionary work, love them. 

When you get every door slammed on you, every person trying to convert you to their religion, or saying their Christian but don't want to learn about Christ, just love them. 

Christ would love them. 

Thursday we weekly planned in the morning and then saw a couple less actives and just talked to them. One of them, Chloe Radford had been having a bad day so we went to go see her and just see how she was doing. She has the biggest heart. She is so so sweet. We shared with her how much we love her and helped her to feel better and set up a time to come back and rake her leaves the next day! Then we had shift at the visitor center. -- what has been awesome this week is being blessed to be a visitor center missionary. It is frustrating sometimes because we don't have as much time in our area, and the ward knows that so they favor the elders and only give them referrals, etc etc. But when nothing is happening we have the opportunity to meet and talk to all the people who DO want the truth. Who have reached o by requesting a bible or BOM. I have been able to chat with people all over the world and talk on the phone and sister M and I have sent like 6 referrals off to other missionaries and sent bibles and books of Mormon to Malawi and Zambia.... and not very many missionaries can say that. So I felt super blessed to be able to have that opportunity this week.

Friday we went on exchanges. I went with our new sister leader Sister Flake (Yes Bleak and Flake lol)  up to North Kansas City! It was really great! I felt bad though because I felt like I was starting to get sick, plus I was way tired (like that feeling when your eyes are super heavy and you just aren't yourself) so I was like that all day, but it was cool because we finished comp study and then met up with some sisters in Liberty and went to celebrate her birthday and had lunch at a way yummy wrap place then we went to an appointment with one of their investigators that was from a part member family. It was awesome and I really just realized that as misisonaries, we are here to find the elect. D&C 4 states: "The field is white already to harvest" Not brown and ready to be seeded and watered. There are those people who are out there, and who just need to hear or be invited to learn about the Restored Gospel, and then they're there.

That's how this investigator was. She didn't need any convincing or coercing or elegant language to get her to accept the message, in fact we spent the whole first thirty minutes talking about their pet ferret haha. But then we taught the restoration and she just accepted it completely and then we just asked her about whether she had thought about baptism and she said yeah, and I think I want to do it. So she pulled out a calendar and put herself on date right there!! It was crazy!! I basically just had to soak it all in because I didn't think that actually happened!! Haha. but that was the whole fact of it and what I learned, is that there are those people that are prepared. theres no magic thing we have to do to get them to believe or come to church, they should want to and should make the effort themselves.

I just have such a desire to fulfill my purpose and help those who are ready, and I believe they are out there, but they must be hiding REALLY well in Blue Springs, or I am just not doing the best to find them.... but I have to believe they are out there.

I kind of felt the brunt of the whole week last night when we had call-in reports, and after church. Sacrament meeting was awesome! The next two weeks we have conferences (stake and regional) so this week was fast sunday once again. And I really just felt like the spirit testified to me of Gods love. That's what almost everyone bore their testimony about when they got up. And I feel like that's what I needed. They all bore their testimony for me (and for others im sure) but that's what I needed. Its like I said before, when you don't know what to do anymore, or you feel like youre at your last whit. Turn to god, and you will feel His love.

Elder Holland said it best when he said, "the first great commandment‍ of all eternity is to love God with all of our‍ heart, might,mind, and strength—that’s the first great commandment. But the first great truth‍ of all eternity is that God loves us‍ with all of His‍ heart, might, mind, and strength. That love is the foundation stone of eternity, and it should be the foundation stone of our dailylife. Indeed it is only with that reassurance burning in our soul that we can have the confidence to keep trying to improve, keepseeking forgiveness for our sins, and keep extending that grace to our neighbor."

Now this week its all to putting that into action.

But im grateful to be a missionary. Im grateful to be out here. Even when sometimes I feel like the only people who will listen to us are crazy people (Like the guy we talked to last night named Torez, who is a 54 year old body building ex-convict & gang member - almost came to the visitor center, but then proceeded to tell us all about his fraudulent landlord and all this other junk.. haha)

Im grateful for a district leader who was in-tune with the spirit last night and said exactly what I needed to hear - to just hold on. Just keep going. It will all be okay and it will all get better soon. Just keep working. God is cheering you on! God wants you to succeed. Sometimes it just takes time.

But in the meantime, we have Jesus as our helper and brother. He suffered for us and he knows just how we feel.

So to all of you who feel at a loss, turn outward in love to those around you. Turn to God and you'll feel His love. And then just keep on keeping on. It will get better.

Love you all.

Sister Bleak