Sept. 5, 2016
WHATS
GOOOOD. Jesus is good. (And that's basically all that matters.)
Wowie welp I made it
through another week.
This week whipped my
tail. In a lot of ways, it was better than last weekend, but it was still
rough. But through it all, God is so good.
Last Monday, after the
end of pday we went on exchanges with the sister leaders which was like a
WEIGHT lifted. Wow i love our sister leaders. Sister Wilkey is my spirit human.
Being with her for not even 24 hours literally gave my anxious troubled heart a
vacation. I just cried to her, and laughed and relaxed with her as she helped
me know what to do, and how to help myself and do my best to help my companion.
As I sort of expressed
this last week, my companion is pretty headstrong. It is hard for her to see my
point of view.. a lot. It tests my patience. But I just go to the other room
and pray and say you know what, i cant control her personality or her emotions,
or whether she moves faster so we are on time, but i CAN control whether i am
happy and upbeat!
So this week i have
just been striving to love her, and focus on Jesus. Giving everything else that
I cannot control over to Him!!
Tuesday finished our
exchanges and we had shift. I dont remember much else about it but it was
aight.
Wednesday, we had
district meeting - and with my newfound peace and good attitude from Sister
Wilkey and working on the SMALL things i can do - it was an amazing day!
We just had district
meeting and then went to shift, and WOW. So our District Leader Elder Ellsworth
is literally going to be an apostle. He taught and testified about Jesus Christ
and the importance of missionary work and i wish i could verbalize it all but i
dont know if i can. The spirit was SO strong though. I just had tears streaming
down my face. He testified to us that the days are few until the coming of
Jesus Christ. God is preparing his way. He shared about how in the BOM in 3
Nephi it talks about the events and circumstances before christs coming and how
there were dwindling numbers in converts.
Now okay, in all the
surrounding areas in our stake we are not seeing a lot of success. Like at all.
It makes it really hard to feel like we are being purposeful and successful
missionaries. But E. Ellsworth testified to us that this is not because of
anything we are doing wrong. It is simply because of the time. God is working
His wonders and making things happen how they are supposed to.
And when we feel
discouraged and down-trodden, we are walking with the best like that has ever
lived. We are working alongside the resurrected Lord, laboring with Him in His
work.
This was so comforting
to me, because i have no idea what im doing. and i feel so much so that i am
falling short. But family and friends, the atonement is real.
More specifically, the
ENABLING POWER of the Atonement is real. It is so real and it is so powerful
and comforting.
Thats something i
truly learned this week is that in THE toughest and hardest times of our lives,
it is during those times, if not MOST ESPECIALLY during those times, THAT is
when God is with us the VERY MOST.
It has been a VERY
hard past week and a half. I have been tried and tested EVERY day. EVERY HOUR
of the day. I have been depressed and easily discouraged.
BUT, I have NEVER felt
closer to my Savior. My relationship with Heavenly Father is stronger than it
ever has been. Truly as i am just striving to get through each day, or even
just getting through one hour at a time, I can feel now, more than ever, Jesus
Christ is walking alongside me, if not HOLDING me.
Thursday went by in a
breeze. And Friday was our full-proselyting day! (which is overwhelming when
youve only been out six weeks, almost everyone in your area has dropped you,
and you have no idea what youre going to do the whole day..... )
But we were able to
see a few miracles!!
Even though Sister
Taylor and I kind of got into a couple arguments... (she is very headstrongl
ike i said, and she gets realy defensive when I bring up a certain way of how
we do things, so if it is not her way, she gets very upset.... It is hard. And
she comes off very pushy when we are contacting people and that stresses me
out) But like i said, i went into the other room a couple of times and prayyyed
PRAYYED so earnestly because i needed some REAL help.
But even in the midst
of our weaknesses we were able to have a great day!
We taught a lesson to
a girl in our ward who just wants to ahve the missionary lessons for mission
prep, but we told her to invite a nonmember friend to listen with her and she
DID! so hopefully we get to keep teaching them!! It was pretty good. Not the
best lesson how it could've gone, but still good!
We also got to talk to
a 12 year old for a while who said we could come back the next day and share
more of our message!!
We got in contact with
a less-active and had a really great conversation and just got to know her
nonmember husband, they are really busy but we are going to try to start
working with them!
We finally made
contact with one of our investigators who has been quiet for a little while,
This is David, one of
the brothers whose brother we taught a couple weeks ago, and was filming us..
lol. But David was the more sincere one and he was super stoked to see us and
still showed that sincere interest to learn about how he can repent and have
all those bad feelings of shame and guilt taken away! he was gonna come to
church (but didnt show up) but hes supposed to come to the VC tomorrow!!!
And then we had our
less active (also a recent convert) and a ward family and our recent converts
the Lowes come to the VC that night to all watch Meet the Mormons, and it was
SO GREAT!!! It touched each of them so much and Brandi (our less active we have
been working with who hasnt wanted to come to church because she had a bad
experience in AZ before she moved here and hasnt been since) she was crying and
just knew that she really needed to come to church and it was awesome!!!!
Saturday was a harder
day though. Sister Taylor found out that her Grandfather passed away.
It just tore up my
heart to see her so upset. I cant even imagine.
She was reading her
emails as we ate lunch before going out to an appointment with the kid we had
talked to the day before. and all of a sudden i looked up and she had started
sobbing.
It was so sad. Her
grandfather had been getting sick and she knew he may not be around when she
got home, she just wasnt expecting it then. So we gave President a call and he
gave her permission to get a blessing from Elder Toronto (VC director and best
man ever) who knew her grandpa. I just cried and let Sister Taylor cried
because i cant even imagine how that would be - i dont want to imagine any of
my grandparents dying!!
She said she was okay
enough to still try to go to our appointment, but when we got to our
appointment, the kid we talked to the day before wasnt home, and his mom was
very, uh, adamant about their not being interested. And shooed us away. But we
left her daughter with a BOM to give to little Larry.
But then we just went
back to the visitor center before shift so that Sis T could receive a
blessing.
I felt so bad for
her.
She just stayed down
and cried and had some time for herself the rest of that night and the morning
on sunday at our shift for the visitor center too. Sunday we saw blessings and
tender mercies! We had an amazing dinner and felt the spiritual strength from
fasting! And Brandi and her son Kaanan came to church! and Brandi bore her
testimony! AND came to President's recent convert devotional and Kaanan bore
his testimony!! Tender mercies, after the hard.
So yeah we have had a
rough week to say the least. But God has still blessed us.
But this week as i
have been studying about humility and trusting in the lord, I was studying in
Helaman - where i am in my scritpure reading, and it just happened to talk
about how "The Lord seeth fit to chasteneth His people." God lets us
go through hard things, and sometimes even orchestrates it to be so because he
KNOWS that if we choose to let it, it will help us to grow and become
better.
I know it is hard, but
if everything were easy, we wouldnt grow and learn how to rely on the
lord!!
That has been a hard
reality for me to accept, but i have gained a testimony taht that is so
true!!
I looked up adversity
and chasten and both of them say that the lord allows these experiences and
hard things to happen - FOR US TO GROW. In the words of Elder Oaks,
"Opposition allows us to grow to the person that god would have us
BECOME."
"All of these
experiences shall be for thy good"
Even though it has
been a struggle to just get through each day, I have received so much spiritual
light and knowledge this whole week as i have felt so close to my Heavenly
Father.
I have had SOOO much
love and support from my VC fam.
One of my favorite
people in the VC is Elder Wilson and Sister Wilson. they are a senior couple that
lives above us and has us come up after our daily planning at night and we eat
ice cream with us and they share stories with us.
But elder wilson
always comes over and sits with me up while we wait for people to come in on
sundays and just asks me how i am doing and lets me talk and cry. He is totally
my grandpa out here ,and one of my best friends. He is so fun to be around and
i just am so grateful for all the people who have been such a support to me out
here. And all your love and prayers from home.
I am choosing to be
happy, i am choosing to be positive and upbeat. Even when i feel like nothing
is going right and im completely out of my comfort zone.
We are "free to
choose" we are "agents to act for ourselves, and not be acted
upon." I am just taking it one day at a time, praying for love and for
patience and for comfort, and taking the small things that i can take joy in.
The Atonement covers
ALL griefs, ALL sorrows, ALL discouragements, ALL loneliness, ALL anxieties,
ALL weaknesses, ALL mistakes, EVERYTHING. Jesus has engraven us upon his hands.
He is always there for us. He has always been there for us.
We just need to accept
his outstretched hand.
God truly is our
loving heavenly father. He shows us the way. He is the way.
I have definitely
learned how POWERFUL prayer is. It is truly the most POWERFUL thing. I talk to
God. I cry to God. I plead with my Heavenly Father. And He hears my prayers. He
comforts my troubled heart. He doesnt always take the troubles and pains and
worries and trials away, but He has and always will provide a way for us to get
through it.
I love my Savior.
I was talking to
another sister who told me that the reason why i came out on a mission was
important, but the reason why i stay is almost more important.
I am staying because I
love Jesus Christ. I love Him with ever fiber of my being. I am a
representative of Him, and it is through Him i can overcome.
We may not be perfect,
but we can be perfect in trying! Because "the Gospel blesses those who
WANT to succeed!"
I know that God is
testing me, and giving me things that are helping me to grow. I dont really
like to be stretched and uncomfortable, but i know and have felt the atonement
comforting me through this. Jesus sacrificed and atoned for us so that we COULD
change and be comforted THROUGH change.
I love you all so
much. Thank you for your prayers and love.
We can all believe in
good things to come!
Much love,
Sister Bleak
pic exchanges with my favs
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